Hello WordPress!

I have just imported a few year’s worth of posts from an old Xanga blog.  Looking forward to continuing the conversation…

here’s to The Passionate Life!

Lisa

Fear Not

“Do you know what the most frequent command in the Bible turns out to be?  What instruction, what order is given again and again – by God, by angels, by Jesus, by prophets and apostles?  “Be good”?  “Be holy”?  “Don’t sin”?  “Don’t be immoral”?  No.  The most frequent command in the Bible is: Don’t be afraid.  “Fear not.” 

The irony of this surprising command is that, though it’s what we all really want to hear, we have as much difficulty, if not more, in obeying this command as any other.  We all cherish fear so closely that we find we can’t shed it even when we’re told to do so.  This command bursts in upon a world in which we eat, sleep and breathe fear.

We’re afraid of being alone, of being unloved, of being abandoned. 
We’re afraid of looking stupid, of being left behind in some race that we all seem to be automatically entered for.
We’re afraid that we might never find the right person and that if we do marry, it may turn out to be a disaster.
We are afraid of both growing older and more feeble, and of dying suddenly. 

And these are just the big ones.  There are dozens of lesser fears which reinforce and feed on each other.  So you see why this command, ‘Don’t be afraid,’ is one of the hardest of all to keep.  Can you imagine living without fear?  Living a normal, wise, responsible life without the nagging sense that something is about to go horribly wrong, that you may have made it through this day, this week, but it was simply a happy accident, since the universe is basically unfriendly and Murphy’s Law will take revenge eventually?  That is how most people live.

To that condition, the gospel of Jesus comes with bad news and good news.  The good news: there is just one command this time, not even ten.  The bad news: this one command tells us to love – to be unafraid – and we haven’t a clue how to obey it.  Fear is the air we breathe.  We don’t really know any other way to live.

N.T. Wright

Extravagant Life, Part 2 (through a glass, darkly)

So, I really wish I could say that I met Jesus and my life was forever changed.  It did change eventually – but not as quickly as I would have thought.  How could an experience of God’s tangible presence induce anything less than a complete transformation of one’s life?  And yet, sadly, I regarded the event somewhat like this: “Wow!  God IS real!  It’s so great to know there is someone to turn to when times are really bad.”  And I proceeded to continue making a mess of my life.  Even knowing I was in no shape to offer my bruised and battered heart to anyone, I entered in to a relationship shortly after my divorce.  I was desperate for validation, hungry for the reassurance that I was still desirable.

It wasn’t until a couple of years (and a fifth daughter) later, that I realized God actually desired something from me.  It was a completely foreign concept.  I had viewed God as a wonderfully Grand Being who was far too busy running the universe to care about my daily activities. He was there ‘in times of trouble, speaking words of wisdom’ – but the rest of the time, I was pretty much on my own.  

It took another failed relationship for me to realize I needed to stop seeking my validation externally, from men. I slowed down, paused, and contemplated the wreckage around me.  It wasn’t pretty.  Worst of all,  I could see how much my behaviour was hurting my girls.   They were dealing with their own pain, their own insecurities. They needed me to be solid, to provide stability in a tilted world – but I’d been so wrapped up in my pain, I’d been blind to theirs.  

This candid assessment left me almost as broken as I’d been that night at the beach. I saw the fragility of their hearts, and decided to commit to staying single and pouring myself into motherhood.  I’d chosen to bring these five beautiful daughters into the world, and they needed me now more than ever.  I knew I needed support, so I initiated a conversation that was long overdue.  Knowing I deserved nothing, I prayed: I asked God to be my husband in the absence of an earthly one.  I asked Him to be a father to my girls, to enter our lives, to heal our brokenness.  

It was the beginning of a relationship that has proved to be the most rewarding, the most challenging, and yes – the most transforming of all.  What I’ve realized in the years since, is that God was always with me.  He fashions a God-shaped hole in our hearts, and He waits.  He waits for each of us to come to the end of our own road – waits for us to take a step toward Him. He waits for us to initiate conversation, to admit we can’t do it alone. And the moment we turn toward Him, He responds as one who has been waiting for that very instant with deep longing, and unbridled joy.  He gathers us in to His arms with a fierce yet tender love, and begins to teach us how we need to lose our lives, in order to find them.  

From Suicide to Extravagant Life, Part 1

The closest I’ve come to entertaining thoughts of suicide was just before my divorce, in the summer of 1999.  I had four sad little girls at home who needed me to be a safe port in the storm.  I would sometimes cry at night in the bathtub, but then I realized two of the girls could hear me from their bedroom … so I started taking long drives when my grief threatened to overwhelm. 

One beautifully clear night I was driving along the highway, sobbing so grievously I couldn’t see the road at all.  I remember not caring if my car crossed the centre line.  “At least,” I carelessly reasoned, “the pain will stop.”  A fleeting vision of my daughters’ faces flashed through my mind and somehow I managed to steer my car to a nearby beach.  I parked and, still crying so hard I could hardly catch my breath, wailed in desperation to a dark, star-studded sky, “Help me!  I can’t … bear … this!”

Suddenly my car was filled with an amazing, soul-stunning, heart-flooding peace.  I stopped crying instantly.  You know how hard that is, when you are at the point where your breathing is ragged and torn, chest heaving with broken spasms?  But I stopped, instantly.  Not another tear fell. 

That was when I encountered a presence whom I know now must have been Jesus … no other being could have transformed my pain so beautifully, permeated my soul with such unshakable calm, or filled me with such deep hope.  I drove home later that night knowing beyond a doubt that I was going to be alright.  And although my marriage did fall apart, fragmenting lives and breaking hearts, I had met the One who restores and renews.  But my journey was just beginning …

 

APOLOGY TO THE WORLD

I stumbled across this letter today, written by Doug Perry – and it made me cry.  In a deep, convicted sort of way.  🙂

Dear Members of the World,

I’m just a guy, nobody really. Son of a preacher and missionary. Years and years of Vacation Bible Schools, summer camps, youth ski trips, puppet shows, revivals, choir trips – you name it. Even went to a Christian college and got a degree in religion. I ended up in the business world, but I spent two decades tithing, sitting on committees, teaching Sunday School, going to seminars and conferences, etc. I even met my wife in the singles class at church. I’m not a bad guy, I’ve been mostly behaving myself and everybody seems to like me. I do some good stuff here and there.

But lately I’ve been trying to understand Jesus more and stuff I never noticed before has really started to bug me. I’ve been taking a look around and I’m having a hard time making sense of what it is we’ve built here. So, it just seemed like, whether anybody else says it or not, I need to take responsibility for the part I played and say what I have to say.

Here we go … 

I know you think that Christians are a big bunch of hypocrites. We say we’re more “religious” and we’re going to heaven and you’re not, and then we drive our big shiny cars with little fishies on the trunk and cut you off in traffic as we race by the homeless guy on the corner. We average just 2% of our money to church and charity, despite that we say the Bible is the word of God and it says we’re supposed to give everything. On average, we buy just as many big screen TVs and bass boats and fur coats and makeup and baseball cards and online porn as anybody else. Maybe more. You’ve seen leader after leader end up in jail or court or a sex scandal of one sort or another.

Well … you’re right. We’re guilty of all of it. We’ve done it all. And, I’m really sorry. 

You see our cheesy TV shows and slick guys begging for money and you get that there’s something seriously sneaky and wrong here. A high-pressure call for money so they can stay on the air? Were we supposed to use Jesus as just another form of entertainment? Who do we think we’re kidding? Where’s Jesus in all this? Aren’t we supposed to rely on him? Isn’t He going to meet our needs if we’re inside His will?

What happened to sacrifice and suffering and helping the poor? I’m just sick about this. I mean, the church leaders, they’re not all bad guys, there are lots and lots of really hard-working well-meaning folks who love and care and are meeting real needs in the community. Some of them understand and love Jesus – but I’m just real sure those pastors don’t drive Bentley’s, have multi-million dollar homes and their own lear jets! I mean, what “god” are we worshipping? Money? Ego? Power?

You see our massive shiny new buildings all over the place. Heck, maybe we even kicked you out of your house so we could expand our parking lots. You can’t figure out why we need four different Christian churches on four corners of the same intersection. We’ve got playgrounds and bowling alleys and basketball leagues. We’ve got Starbucks coffee in the sanctuary. We’ve got orchestras and giant chandeliers and fountains out front. We’ve got bookstores full of “jesus junk” with every imaginable style and flavor of religious knick-knack. But where’s Jesus? Is this what HE wanted?

Oh, sure, there are good folks all over and not every church is such a mess, but Christians are the ones that say we’re supposed to be “One Body.” So even the good ones are guilty of not putting a stop to it sooner. We were supposed to keep each other in line and not tolerate factions and dissensions and greed and idolatry and all this other bad stuff. Man, we really blew it! We’ve got 33,000 denominations and most of them won’t talk to the other ones. We lose over $5 million a day to fraud from “trusted” people inside the church! We spend 95% of all our money on our own comforts and programs and happy family fun time shows and we let 250 MILLION Christians in other countries live on the very edge of starvation. Not to mention the billion or so that have never even once heard of Jesus – or the homeless guy downtown we almost ran over when we cut you off.

We’re as guilty as we can be. All of us. Nobody is exempt. We should have put a stop to it a lot sooner. But I can’t apologize on behalf of anyone else. This is about me.

I know that you might have gone to church as a kid and stopped going as soon as you could. I know that you might even have been abused by somebody in the church! Maybe we got you all fired up and then just let you drift off like we didn’t really care. Maybe you just don’t fit our “profile.” You might have piercings and purple hair or tattoos or been in jail — and somewhere inside you just know that even if you wanted to go to church one Sunday, it would not go well. I’m sorry for that. Jesus loves you. He always hung out with the most unexpected people. He had the biggest heart for the folks everybody else tried to ignore. What have we done? We’ve told you to put on a sweater and some loafers or you can’t go to heaven. I just want to throw up.

Look, I know you’re mad. And you have a right to be. We’ve done you wrong for a LONG time now. There’s some things about Jesus that people need to hear, but we’ve buried a beautiful masterpiece under hundreds of layers of soft pink latex paint. If you have a Bible handy, look up Matthew 23. (If you don’t, you can look it up here – http://www.BibleGateway.com .) Find it? Read it carefully, the Pharisees were the “religious” people of the day, the leaders of the faith. In this chapter Jesus SEVEN times says how pitiful and wretched and cursed they are for what they’re doing to the people they’re supposed to be leading. He even calls them “white washed tombs of dead mens bones” and a “brood of vipers”! I don’t have time here, but read it and see if we’re not doing EVERY single one of those things. Jesus can’t possibly be happy about what we’ve done to you.

Sure, we like to kid ourselves and pretend everything is OK – but it’s not. We’re hated. Now, please understand, Jesus was hated, too. But that was because he said hard things and sometimes people don’t like hearing the Truth. And he promised we would be hated if we were like him. But that’s not why we’re hated at the moment. We’re hated right now because we’re a giant pack of lying hypocrites that say one thing and do something else altogether. If we were hated because we were like Jesus, that would be one thing, but that’s not it at all. You see right through our happy music and fluffy services and you can tell there’s something desperately wrong here. We’re no different than anybody else – except that we say we’re better than you.

It was never supposed to be like this. Jesus asked us to care for the widows and orphans, to feed the hungry, care for the sick, visit those in prison, reach the lost. He wanted us to love our enemies and pray for them. He cared about human justice and suffering, the lost and lonely.  But I don’t think He would have marched on a picket line – He had His mind on much bigger problems. He wanted us to focus on the eternal things, not the everyday. He never once said to go into all the world and build big buildings and divide up into factions and buy Bentleys. Just the opposite! I get that you’re mad at us and I think you have a right to be, but please understand, you’re mad at what we’ve made under our own power, you’re mad at “Churchianity.” That’s different than Christ and what He wanted. Don’t be mad at Jesus! This mess wasn’t His idea!

Look, I’m really sorry. I accept responsibility for my part in having hurt you. But I’m committing to you all, dear Members of the World, that I’m not going to do it any more. Not a single penny more. I’m not going to put my faith in “Churchianity” or any leader or program or TV show — but in Christ Jesus and His salvation. That’s when I was set free and began to see that God wants and expects more of us than this. And I’m not helping anybody that’s not fully committed to the same thing.

It took centuries to build this monster, so it’s not like it’s going to just turn around overnight. But the times are changing and we’re way overdue for something new. Big bad things are happening – like the tsunami in Asia – and I think more are coming. I don’t want any more time to go by without having said this. I’m sorry for all the time and money I’ve wasted. But Jesus saves. Really. The church itself isn’t even the point. Jesus is the real deal. He lived and He died for my sins and He rose again. He is who He said He was and He cares about me – and you. He’s our only hope. We need places you can go that will only teach Jesus and will not be swayed or tempted or distracted by anything else. God willing, that’s coming.

Please don’t think all Christians are just posers. Some of them really mean it when they say they belong to Christ. The problem is mostly in the West where we’re all comfy and complacent and seem to like it that way. The Christians in China and other places are deadly serious. There’s no room for anything but Jesus when you’re on the run from the government. They are dying every day for their faith and doing crazy hard things because they’re absolutely committed to Christ. These are martyrs. People willing to crucify little pieces of themselves every day to be more like Christ. People willing to set aside everything they want to do what Christ wants. People willing to rot in prison or take a beating or die if that’s what it’s going to take. People that act in pure love and never back down. I’m not worthy to tie their shoes. And there are some like that here, too, and I hope we can get a lot more people to start living that way. It’s way overdue.

If you’re talking to someone and they tell you they’re a Christian, ask them if they’re the kind of Christian that really means it all the time or the kind that just means it on Sunday. The Bible says we’ll know them by their “fruits” – by the faith and purity and love in their deeds and words. When you find one that proves Christ is in them by how much they love you, ask them to tell you all about Jesus. If you know one of those fearless martyrs that speaks nothing but pure, clean, hard Truth – ask lots of questions. Truth is a lot more rare than you would think. But don’t settle for soft, fluffy and comfortable anymore – that’s not in the Bible.

As for me and my house, we’re really sorry. From now on, we’re going to serve the Lord, not “Churchianity.” We’re going to try to call together as many of those martyrs as we can and start doing what Christ wanted. If I run into you someday, please give me a chance to shake your hand and apologize in person. I’m going to try harder from now on, I promise. I think there are lots of others feeling the same way, so don’t be surprised if you start hearing stuff like this more often.

Thanks for your time. I hope it helps. 

Doug Perry –  Liberty, Missouri, USA
www.FellowshipOfTheMartyrs.com

The Little Way

The book I am reading (Prayer by Richard Foster) describes a way to advance the Kingdom in a small but tenacious manner.  It’s called ‘The Little Way of Therese of Lisieux’.  This is something we can all aspire to in our everyday lives.

Therese explains her ‘Little Way’ as deceptively simple.  It is, in short, to seek out the menial job, to welcome unjust criticism, to befriend those who annoy us, to help those who are ungrateful.  For her part, Therese was convinced that these ‘trifles’ pleased Jesus more than the great deeds of recognized holiness.  The beauty of the Little Way is how utterly available it is to everyone.  All can undertake this ministry of small things.  Almost daily we can give smiling service to nagging co-workers, listen attentively to silly bores, express little kindnesses without making a fuss.

We may think these trivial activities are hardly worth mentioning.  That, of course, is precisely their value.  They are unrecognized conquests over selfishness.  We will never receive a ‘thank you’ for these invisible victories in ordinary life.

So, let’s find that person who irritates us most, and like Therese, “set ourselves to treat them as if we loved them best of all.”  Mother Teresa understood this concept, stating, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.  It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it.”  🙂

My Heart Breaks

So many people have been wounded by churches who teach two main things:

1) God loves you and He’s gonna send you to hell

2) Sex is bad and nasty and dirty and you should save it for the one you love

How does one sort through this kind of teaching?  Most of the time these churches have a long list of behaviours which are acceptable to God (along with a longer list of sins which will send you to hell).  If one does manage to escape this environment (at the risk of alienating oneself from family and friends) it is often with such a conflicted view of God that we just turn their backs on the relationship altogether.  How does one reconcile love and judgement, purity and filth, obedience and condemnation, when all of these concepts are twisted together into a deeply embedded belief system? 

My heart breaks to see people ‘missing’ God –  mistaking, misinterpreting, misunderstanding Him.  Sometimes, in their confusion, they begin ‘dissing’ God – dismissing, disavowing, disowning Him.  Satan does indeed infiltrate the church – his attention is always directed toward subverting the light of truth.  Jesus had a word of caution for leaders – “but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” 

I only wish I could tell these wounded souls that it’s not GOD who is inconsistent.  That’s not His nature.  The church has always been under attack; the church is made up of people, and people can be misled.  We can’t put our faith in an institution, or in a group of people.  Sad, but true.  When our faith is invested in the humaneness of humanity … it’s pretty shaky ground. We’ll be disappointed, or worse – deeply wounded.  Instead, let us consider the One who is set apart … holy … the only One who will not disappoint, who does not change, the One who is truth and life. 

My prayer is that all who have turned away will seek Jesus, one on One.  Give Him your pain, your bitterness, your disappointment, your emptiness.  Allow Him to speak truth where there are lies, to speak life where there is death, to bring restoration where there is hopelessness. 

Sex 180

Sex 180 is about challenging our Hollywood stereotypes and living a life that is 180 degrees apart from what is considered ‘normal’ in the realm of dating, love and sex.   

The authors are talking about how we must walk in love before we can be in love.  They are challenging the false belief that there is one person out there who will complete us, and suggesting that this is God’s exclusive role.  They believe that for us to impose the expectation of self-fulfilment upon a mere mortal is to set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. 

But then this one sentence jumped out, bit me, and won’t let go. 

Love is offering someone what they need the most when they deserve it the least. 

Isn’t that beautiful? If only we could offer this kind of love to each other.  Isn’t that exactly what Jesus offers us?  🙂

Luke 9:23

I’ve been trying to figure out why some people have no sense of joy, no peace, no happiness.  Many of them feel life has dealt them a bum hand.  They tend to dwell on past disappointments.  They seem depressed, angry and resentful.  They may have trouble believing God is real, due to His apparent lack of involvement in their lives.  They invariably have great difficulty trusting in Him.  

I know I feel closest to God when I am:

 

1) enjoying His creation – the stars, the ocean, the crescent moon, the seasons –  noticing the beauty around me

2) serving others, realizing I am better off than many …

3) praising Him, thanking Him, being grateful  

These activities are sure-fire methods of banishing the self-centred attitude which leads to a lack of joy, lack of peace, lack of trust.  Yet the enemy will stoke the fires of discontent in our lives, for the sole purpose of keeping us angry, resentful and feeling entitled. 

It’s hard to feel overly important under the vast canopy of the night sky.  It is rare to feel hard-done-by when we are feeding the homeless.  It is impossible to be resentful and thankful in the same moment.   When we appreciate God’s handiwork, when we serve and give, when we count our blessings –  we are lifted above our pain and problems, disappointments and failures, betrayals and losses.  We are lifted out of our brokenness.  And in those moments, we make ourselves available to God.  We sense His bigness.  We taste His benevolence.  We experience His mercy. 
 
When we tear our focus away from our hardships, God can reveal to us new and wonderful things.  But sometimes it takes a concerted effort to re-direct our attention.  I’m starting to think this is what Jesus meant in Luke 9:23, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

According to bible commentaries, this passage tells us that being Christian means bearing our burdens stoically.  Christians are going to suffer affliction.  “Chin up, this is the cross you must bear.”  (Oh boy, sign me up!)  I’ve known some joyless, stoic burden bearers.  But where is the joy, the strength, the relentless love of someone who trusts that they will be provided for, and knows that nothing in this world can harm them – not really – not in any way that can steal their peace, their happiness, their hope? 

I think the key to understanding this passage is in the words, ‘let him deny himself’.  If we are to follow Jesus, we must deny ourselves our rights and our resentments.  We must put others ahead of ourselves – and that includes their troubles!  If we view other people’s troubles as greater than ours, we are stimulated to serve.  We stop complaining and are motivated to action.

How do we learn to see past our own troubles?  That’s where soaking in His creation comes in.  Let’s get outside!  Open our eyes and really LOOK.  There is beauty everywhere, both intricate and immense.  Once we become small, and our eyes are attuned to beauty, we are more likely to notice the places that are dark – the places we are needed.  Our hearts are softened; we become sensitive to injustice and suffering.  We are then available to follow God’s leading.

I think Jesus knows our tendency toward self-obsession.  🙂  He is giving us a clear, concise action plan for happiness here.  “Get outside of your SELVES and let Me show you some things.  Lay aside your worries and serve someone who is in real trouble.  Stop griping about your situation so I can tell you why I’ve equipped you with certain gifts.  Crucify your self-obsession and follow Me – you’ll discover a new way of living!  Most of all, you’ll discover My heart … ” (Lisa’s paraphrase of Luke 9:23!) 

And when we know God’s heart, we can rest in Him.  We can trust in Him.  And we can begin to risk for Him … to follow where He leads …  and in so doing, we will come to know peace, joy and fulfilment. 

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
                                                   1 Thessalonians 5:15


 

Belief vs Trust

I’ve come to realize that believing in God (in our country) is fairly easy – it really doesn’t cost us much.  Often it’s a ‘hedge your bets’ type of belief, and doesn’t really affect who we are or how we act.  Some of us tend to seek God when the chips are down – praying our laundry list of wants and needs, for healing and financial blessings, good weather and job promotions.  But for the most part, we continue living independently – risking little and sacrificing nothing.

Believing in God is very different from knowing Him intimately, knowing His character so well that we will trust in Him, rest in Him, and risk for Him.  In his book, The Holy Wild,  Mark Buchanan writes:

Faithlessness is not unbelief.  Faithlessness is the refusal to trust. It’s the refusal to rest in God, and therefore to risk for God.

Faith takes trust – and yes, the process begins with believing in God, deepens into knowing God, then to resting and trusting in Him and finally, into risking for Him – knowing that nothing can harm us, not really.  John 3:16 says “whosoever believeth in Him will have everlasting life”, but the verb ‘believe’ in Greek is ‘pisteo’ – with a meaning far broader than our English definition. Pisteo means to know, to trust and to act.

Beloved, we must not stop at mere belief – let us trust in Him – cut through distractions, dismantle our safety nets, dispel our fears and step out to be used, to be spent.  To first accept, and then pour out this love He has lavished upon us.  Anything less is a tragic waste of our lives.